I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
