I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
don't judge my taste in strippers
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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