We won't sleep together?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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