I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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