She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm always down for nudity.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
