And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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