I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
