Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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