wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
