I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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