did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize