What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
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