I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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