I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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