Define "chronic" masturbator.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize