Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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