Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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