My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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