he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
