Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
