she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
