Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I would fuck him just for his dog
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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