And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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