Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
