Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
