Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
