One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
