i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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