i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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