This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
