i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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