y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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