What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
