I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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