Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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