Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
