i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
