and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
