i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
