its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
