They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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