he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You took a bar mat shot.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
