those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
