im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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