one might say we're banned from that church
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
