i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
