There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
