So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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