I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel like a drive thru vagina
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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