Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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