do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
