I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
