anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
