sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
