You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My liver just had a heart attack.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
