I'm really into asian looking animals
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
