OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
