Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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