Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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